On this shore I’m pacing,
In anticipation of exploration
Though the waters are murky,
I’ll place a faithful foot before me,
To walk out on the waters,
to a place of promise –
And once I reach this place,
this promised ship,
captained with grace,
I’ll sail into a sea of blue,
towards fruitful islands,
these places of new
–
But on this shore,
still I am
So may I pace,
patiently –
Channeling this anticipation through productivity,
not just in preparation,
but in conscientious appreciation,
towards this shore of esteemed creation
It’s hard to be present when your thoughts are a recurring stream of checklists in preparation and eagerness towards the ever nearing, closer and closer, future. The checklists meant to relieve anxiety towards entering the murky water before us.
I don’t say murky in a dreadful sense though.
No, the murk is just sediment and sand, possibilities and nutrients, but it can look a little questionable regardless. Apprehension, after all, is a survival mechanism.
So how do we balance patience where we still are with avidity towards where we are ready to be?
Balancing anticipatory preparedness with contemporary commitments?
This is my current existential ponderment.
And I’m finding to overcome this conflict robbing me of presently being, I must channel my eagerness, not solely into expectant preparation, but also into enthusiasm and appreciation towards the very place I am still set foot in; the very place I’ve sunk my toes in. The place that has allotted me so much space to grow, to screw up, to sob both from laughter and grief alike, and to compassionately nurture me into the young woman I feel empowered to enter this new phase of life as.
Is this metaphorical reality not just like the promise of heaven after our mortal life? Is our earthly existence not just us on the shores of heaven? Are Christian’s not anxiously and expectantly awaiting the promise of Heaven, while balancing and accepting their being on earth? Holding it as a sacred commission from our Creator to love.
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